Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Real Consequences of Parenthood

Many States in the USA allow the parent(s) of a newborn to 'dump' the baby off at a hospital in order to reduce the risk of abandonment. And, according to the 'experts', it is a successful program. Successful in which way? I might ask. In encouraging irresponsible pregnancies?
The State of Nebraska enacted a similar law but forgot to put an age limit on the child that can be dumped, so parents have been dumping their grown children, including teenagers, at hospitals throughout the State. This includes people from other States, one of whom drove halfway across the country to drop off their teenager who was pleading with her not to go. (Why didn't they fly? And why didn't the teenager bale out of the car on the way? I suppose the child didn't know that their Mother was that determined and that desperately irresponsible). The problem has become so bad that the Governor of Nebraska is now begging, yes begging people to stop dumping their children and the law will be changed next week to reduce the age of 'non-consent'.
Yet again, this outrageous episode boils down to one thing - we are not told the truth.
As children, I would hazard a guess that most people are either encouraged, expected or educated into having children, most girls talk about it as if it's the only reason they are here and that the 'failure' to breed is a failure of their entire existence; most men are made to feel that fatherhood is a right of passage and without this they are not quite a man; a large number of you reading this might think that what I am about to say is a total disgrace. Good. This is a wake up call.
The truth is that too many people who breed are not built to be parents - a lot more people than we should accept have children with no idea about child-rearing, patience or education. Some people have children because they need unconditional love (they weren't able to find it by any other means); other people behave criminally towards their children (their bad temper was not enough of a warning sign); others still, have too many children because they think they are so wonderful that the world needs more of them, and others (that I have no name rude enough for) have children that they expect taxpayers to pay for. Let us forget the environmental impact a child has; let us forget the fact that many people have children as an emotional crutch for a boring life, a bad marriage or a way of holding onto a man; let us forget that too many people on welfare are 'permitted' to breed. As hard as it might be, let us forget these facts.
Let us look at the issue facing Nebraska and the message that is coming out of this: People are so desperate that they are literally throwing their kids away; they are so irresponsible, so disgustingly ignorant and so self righteous that they are unable to accept that the truth behind the reason they cannot handle their own child is their own damn fault. They are such low grade human beings that they think it's acceptable to let their problem become our issue.
Now, I have never had children - I always say I am not selfish enough to have kids - yes, that's what I wrote - I am NOT selfish enough to have kids - (think about it). I used to think that I would, I used to dread the thought of the responsibility, both financial and emotional, let alone the amount of time it would take away from me being able to stay in bed late with my girlfriend or relax without constant noise, constant questions, constant entertainment. But somehow, I was one of the lucky ones - I managed to work out that I was not built to be a parent. But how did I work this out? I spent time with other people's kids, I immersed myself in the reality of the situation, I saw the truth of child-rearing; and I learnt my lesson before it was too late... even though it went against everything I had been taught, everything I had been encouraged to do and everything my family wished for. Basically, I love kids, I like hanging out with them, having fun with them, enjoying them, it is just that I am completely aware of the amount of time a child needs, of the amount of responsibility it takes, and I am not prepared for that kind of life on a constant, day to day, minute by minute, forever basis.
Although I am a man, I know women who feel the same, who feel that, despite society's teachings and the stigma placed on a childless woman, they feel that they dodged the bullet, they are happy to be free from that responsibility; and I applaud them, I congratulate them, I respect them for listening to their own truth and not the fairy tale ideal that too many people fall for.
I know the parents out there, reading this, will comment that it's "different when it's your own", that you have "no idea what it's like until it's yours", but that's where the 'selfish' part comes in - I know that my kid will be just another kid to everyone else; I am not small-minded enough to think that my kid is any more special than my friend's kids; I am not ego-centric enough to think that it will make any difference to the world whether I breed or not; in fact, I know that I am more responsible for not having had a kid, it would ruin my life and it would ruin the kid's life, not to mention the added stress it puts on the planet, and all for what? My ego? No. I don't need that stroked by a child, I would rather do something constructive, like make a point that you disagree with, but a point that makes sense and might help someone else come to terms with their own truth. And, on top of it all, I don't have the nagging concern in the back of my mind that I just bred a kid who only lets me have my own space when I encourage it to watch a dvd or play a video game; I can proudly say that I didn't breed a waste of space.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am aware that some people are good parents, that they breed productive members of society, that I enjoy time with their kids because they are respectful, fun and individual. My problem lies with the mall rats, the gang bangers, the violent offenders, the unemployable, welfare scamming, overweight and destructive children that should never have been bred and should not be allowed to breed - these are the children who come from the parents who have nothing to offer but boredom, anger and junk food. They only breed 'more of the same'. These are the people that should consider abortion before they consider birth. If you consider yourself above these people, these reprobates who breed for the sake of it, for the thrill of it or for the stupidity of it, then limit yourself to one, maybe two 'ego boosts', there really is no need, no space and no time for you to have three of them.

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